We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
