i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
