He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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