I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
