My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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