piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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