that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
