By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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