The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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