She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
