I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Less talking, more tequila
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
