Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
no, he came in my armpit
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
