She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
