Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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