Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
