He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
