Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
