you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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