i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
