I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
