I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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