Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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