dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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