I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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