he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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