Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize