So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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