Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
