I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
