Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize