Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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