dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
