Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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