she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
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Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
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All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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