ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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