thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
