She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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