I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I want a musical about memes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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