therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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