Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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