My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
