my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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