i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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