A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
