So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
