no you cant smoke seaweed
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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