You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
