I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
