i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
