I look better un-naked...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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