i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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