those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
