why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
