Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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