Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
