We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
