Midget sex pt 2 tonight
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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