Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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