The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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