I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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