Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
