can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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